How To Be A Hazim Haemoglobin In 7 Steps


First step,
Embark on a mission to wholly love the color green,
Vermilion, lime green even, emerald shades, you know what I mean,
Adorn your body with the color from your head to knee high socks,
People will think you think every day’s Earth Day and they’ll think you rock,


Second step,
If you’re tall, then you have to shorten down to 163,
That’s in centimeters, yes, I’m that short, now you’ll know how I feel,
To be the shortest 21 year old in green shorts walking into Economics class,
Now you can’t reach that third shelf, you’re now a short elf, but at least you’ll have a nice ass,


Third step,
Emit 45 verbs, 56 nouns, and 34 adjectives per second in every speech,
I’m exaggerating, I don’t talk that fast, but it’s faster than what you’d expect from me,
Lots of thoughts pass through this muddled up clouded up cerebrum cerebellum of mine,
Not all are bright but if you want to be Hazim, you’ve got to spew them out quickly before they disappear from your mind,


Fourth Step,
Eat like a pig, see that large stuffed crust pizza and lick the plate clean,
Wolf it down, every crumb, then look in the mirror and convince yourself that you’re obese,
Then diet until you can’t stop it, and drop 10 kilograms until your ego eases back into place,
Then feeling comfortable, start scarfing down 7 meals a day again and see the bulge return to your face,


Fifth Step,
Dislike your darker than average soil stained unusual bizarre skin,
Get absorbed to the core in your obsession inducing unhealthy insecurity,
See, for Hazim, some haters say this skin is the reason why I’ll never truly be a Malay,
And yes I nitpick in the mirror, I consider getting some sort of cosmetic procedure done to whitewash it all away,


Sixth Step,
Never wear plastic masks to hide all the things you really feel,
I’m not a faker, never was, I’m not now, and I pray to God I never will be,
I speak my mind to the fullest and the words jumping off my tongue aren’t just for shock value,
There’s a reason for every sentence coming out, it’s not a mere clumsy toss, I aim to shoot the truth,


Seventh Step,
Don’t go a day without smiling, try a grin, show your teeth,
As jagged and unsightly they might appear, just make sure the people see,
That no matter what happens in Hazim’s life, no matter how much it might suck to live,
Optimism is a fire that never burns out, so don’t you let it die if you’re going to be Hazim,

I’m Hazim,
All the things that make me who I am,
Might be things that nobody understands,
And if you’re going to be me, then learn these seven steps,
And you’ll get the gist of it, don’t give up, don’t get stressed,
Because being Hazim isn’t easy, it isn’t that hard either,
It just takes time to comprehend at least half of me,
But I believe in you, that is, if you’re really looking to be Hazim
Which I know you don’t,
But it makes for a poem that was fun to type,
There is absolutely no way you’d ever make it through my life.


© Hazim Haemoglobin



How To Be A Hazim Haemoglobin In 7 Steps

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